As Usual, Beyoncé Is Living Her Best Life While We Contemplate Her Fertility on This 4th of July

 Beyonce poses backstage during TIDAL X: 1015 on October 15, 2016 in New York City.
Beyonce poses backstage during TIDAL X: 1015 on October 15, 2016 in New York City.
Photo: Larry Busacca (Getty Images for TIDAL)

While you were wondering which auntie would be bringing the potato salad to the Fourth of July cookout this year (or whether you would be celebrating this MAGA-ass holiday at all), Bey and Jay were taking a break from the European leg of their On the Run II tour to dip to Cannes, France, for a little family vacay—no big deal.

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Who are we kidding? Whether you care or not (if not, stop reading), anywhere Beyoncé goes turns into a big deal; especially when the star—wearing a $1,595 dress from Temperley London with what was quickly interpreted as a camouflaging ruffle across the abdomen—is captured cryptically holding a hat in front of her midsection (while already wearing one on her head).

As senior editor Stephen Crockett asked, “Beyonce has a hat holder—why is she wearing a hat and carrying a hat? Someone on her staff is responsible for a hat wardrobe change.”

We have no idea, Stephen, but as expected, the Hive got in on the “Is she or isn’t she?” action too, posting pics of Bey’s supposedly (translated from Italian) “new figure” (though they may have also been referring to her new look from Balmain) and invisible (to us) baby bump (seriously, my stomach has never been that flat), despite just seeing pics of the star wearing a pair of high and nipped-waisted shorts last Saturday.

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We personally have no skin in this game of “to Bey-be, or not to Bey-be,” but did note the Corona bottle at Bey’s feet in some of her photos, so we’re guessing there’s likely no new pregnancy announcement pending from the Carters (though with them, whoever knows?) So, we’re just going to get back to marinating this meat for the grill and tour-watching until the Carters return stateside.

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And in the immortal words of our favorite clapback aficionado, Michael Harriot: “Here’s my theory: Maybe she’s just carrying a hat!”

Maiysha Kai is Managing Editor of The Glow Up, an avid eyeshadow enthusiast and always her own muse. Minneapolis born, Chicago bred, New York built. Nuance is her superpower.

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DISCUSSION

itsnotaboutthepasta
itsnotaboutthepasta

Even WITH the army of nannies you know she has, I can’t imagine she’s ready for another go-round just 13 months after giving birth to TWINS. No one’s that insane.