Offset appears at one of his multiple birthday celebrations on Friday, December 14, 2018
Screenshot: TMZ (YouTube)

Knight in shining armor? Not so much. But Migos’ most lovelorn (and manipulative) member, Offset, did his best imitation while celebrating on Friday, dressing up in sparkling chainmail to kick off his 27th birthday weekend in West Hollywood, Calif.

Maybe this is what he thinks it looks like to throw down the gauntlet for your relationship? Disco ball > Divorce? Whatever it is, it’s likely good camouflage for tears.

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Offset’s crystal-encrusted balaclava was a creation of industry-favorite Laurel DeWitt, who also recently created the golden chain-adorned hat for Cardi B’s “Money” promotional imagery. The headpiece Cardi’s estranged husband wore on Friday was custom-made to match his Swarovski crystal-covered bomber jacket and metallic acid-washed jeans and reportedly cost around $11,000.

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But wait, there’s more: Not content to already be doing the most (because if his recent behavior is any indication, too much is never enough), Offset crowned himself king on Saturday night at his “Set Gala” (a play on the Met Gala), where he was scheduled to drop his album of the same name (no such album has surfaced, however). In keeping with the evening’s “jungle drip” theme, Offset and several female attendants once again donned dazzling custom pieces from DeWitt (no word yet on how much these cost).

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Cardi B was conspicuously absent from Offset’s festivities, headlining her own performance at Rolling Loud—where Offset also managed to turn up on Saturday night. (Seriously, where does he find the time—or the fucking nerve?) But if Offset was missing his wife, he managed to keep it to himself (for once) at the Set Gala. Instead, he expressed gratitude for having his “whole team” there to celebrate with him, and basically let us all know that we “can’t tell [him] shit.”

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Now, if he could just stop telling us shit, that’d be great.