Tessica Brown Is Reportedly Bound for Beverly Hills, Renowned Plastic Surgeon Set to Undo Gorilla Glued Hairdo

Illustration for article titled Tessica Brown Is Reportedly Bound for Beverly Hills, Renowned Plastic Surgeon Set to Undo Gorilla Glued Hairdo
Screenshot: TMZ/YouTube

Stiff where? St—well, you get it.

Before I get into the thick of things (no pun intended), I have an announcement to make: Given the fact that this story has now essentially taken over many hearts and minds (including my own,) I will henceforth be reporting all future updates regarding Tessica Brown, aka “Gorilla Glue Girl,” in true Lady Whistledown fashion— starting now. (Thank you, Bridgerton.)

Clears throat.

Dearest reader, this author remains in utter shock and increasing curiosity concerning the wellbeing of TikTok user Tessica Brown. And now with this latest development, more questions and concerns are certainly due to arise.

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On Tuesday, Page Six reported that Lady Brown was set to travel from Louisiana to the City of Angels (that’s Los Angeles) to see a man about a procedure in an effort to resolve her follicular affliction. That man is none other than Duke Dr. Michael Obeng, reportedly the first Black plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills. Obeng received his surgical training from Midwestern State University, University of Texas Medical School and Harvard University, and specializes in cosmetic surgery of the aging face, neck, breast, body, trunk, extremities, and genitalia. The industrial glue removal procedure Lady Brown requires is estimated to cost a whopping $12,500, but will reportedly be performed free of charge. (Which only tells me that if I were in Lady Brown’s position—I would make haste to the nearest airport expeditiously.)

While Lady Brown has yet to confirm her tentative arrival to Los Angeles, Dr. Obeng reposted news of his kind gesture to the 24-hour, limited-viewing feature on the House of Instagram Stories. Other hair professionals such as Lord Neal Farinah (who regularly tends to Queen Beyoncé’s tresses) have also offered a helping hand to aid in Brown’s recovery. TMZ, who first posted news of the update, spoke to Brown on TMZ Live on Tuesday afternoon, where she gave further insight into how she’s been handling this painful ordeal:

“I’m just over the talk shows and the hate groups. I’m over all of that, because they don’t know me,” Brown said in part. “And they got some people out there saying ‘oh well, she did this for clout.’ I wouldn’t have ever put this on my head [with the mindset of] ‘oh wow, let’s see how many followers I get.’ Never. I put it on social media to get help. That was it. That was it. I didn’t think for one second I would get up the next morning and that many people [would have] looked at this. I didn’t think for one second that this was gonna be, me talking to y’all right now.”

She added, “After we started reading up on what this could do to my hair, we made the GoFundMe. We made the GoFundMe for me to get wigs for after this is all over. But they had something to say about everything that’s going on. And I feel like it’s very, very unfair because y’all don’t know me. Because if you knew me, y’all would know that I would never do anything like this on purpose. Never.”

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And all the welps in Welpington shall continue to welp. Until we meet again, my dearest reader.

Yours Truly, Lady Welpington.

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gdtesp
StinkyTinkler

Bald is beautiful. Also, (likely) inevitable.