Former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort (R) leaves the Albert V. Bryan U.S. Courthouse with his wife Kathleen Manafort (L) after an arraignment hearing as a protester holds up a sign March 8, 2018 in Alexandria, Virginia.
Photo: Alex Wong (Getty Images)

Real talk: When I saw images of some the so-called “couture” being used as evidence in the tax and bank fraud case against former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, I almost filed this story under “Crime,” due to the visual assault (and yes, I will be pressing charges).

But honestly, I also have questions: Namely, who knew there was a white version of Dapper Dan (the now-shuttered New York City luxury menswear store Alan Couture)? Or that items like this hideous—and now infamous—$15,000 ostrich leather jacket still existed anywhere outside of reruns of The Sopranos?

As it turns out, $15K is actually a bargain for ostrich—I guess you get what you pay for. But your boy Manafort is still quite the clotheshorse, reportedly spending over $900,000 (via wire transfer) over a five-year period on a wardrobe that, to paraphrase my colleague, news editor Breanna Edwards, would be better suited to either a 20-year-old first-round draft pick or a 50-year-old pastor (both black, of course).

Seriously; this wardrobe is full of gems that look like they should have matching hats and gators, including a bevy of Steve Harvey-worthy suits and jackets that indicate a borderline fetish for exotic skins—my favorite is a reportedly $33,000 bright blue lizard jacket with a hand-embroidered lining that reads “Wearable Art by Bijan for P.M. [Paul Manafort].”


Wearable art, y’all.

To be fair, at least one of these items—a $18,500 custom-made python jacket by Alan Couture—may have actually belonged to Manafort’s wife Kathleen, who remains by her husband’s side as his trials proceed. I guess the couple that slays together, stays ... You know what? I can’t.


In short, it’s ridiculous; perhaps not as ridiculous as the equally hideous $51,500 Dolce & Gabbana jacket worn by Melania Trump to Sicily last year (or the estimated one million already spent on Meghan Markle’s wardrobe as a member of the British monarchy—Prince Charles purportedly picks up that tab). But $900,000 to look like a walking mid-life crisis? C’mon, Man ... afort.

And to be honest, I still think there’s a matching collection of gators out there somewhere.