This Is Not a Drill: Beyoncé’s Teasing New Merch—and Will Still Check the Hell Out of You for Invading Her Space

Photo: Ezra Shaw (Getty Images)

Yes, life comes at you fast ... but not as fast as a celebrity drop.

The Hive caught some new buzz yesterday, as the @ShopBeyoncé account suddenly appeared on Twitter, cryptically beckoning her legions of fans with a hypnotic graphic (did she just implant a microscopic shopping device in my brain?) and drop date: June 11, 2019.


That’s right, y’all. Bey’s online shop has gone social, and you’ve now got five days to sell all your worldly possessions, sell your blood or promise your firstborn, or whatever you Hive members do to own a piece of Bey’s ever-expanding empire.


What is it? Admittedly, we don’t know for sure (which is just the way Bey likes it), but we’re guessing it might be the first Ivy Park x Adidas collection she teased in late April (if that feels soon, we are talking Beyoncé, who is magic). At any rate, Vulture reports that official members of the Beyhive have allegedly already received bandannas and graphic T-shirts.

Hmmmm ...


But while we wait, the Queen has not ceased to entertain—or defend her throne, as evidenced by some choice body language at Thursday night’s NBA Playoff Game 3, where Bey and Jay sat courtside next to Warriors co-owner Joe Lacob and his wife, Nicole Curran, who just set new standards for stupid, because who leans over Beyoncé—to talk to her man, no less???

Nicole, I know you know better ... but entitlement is a helluva drug, I guess.

For real; this “Harpo, who ‘dis woman? Hold Up” moment is priceless, incorporates a flawlessly photo-op ready “greet my public” moment, and is capped by the most ladylike shoulder-check in history. This is Olympic-level shade, and Bey, once again, you get a gold medal. (Maybe we can melt down Nicole’s boots to make it.)


I mean ... Bey is all of us in this charming vignette (second runner-up goes to Lacob on the far right).

(L-R) Jay-Z, Beyonce, Nicole Curran and Joseph S. Lacob
Photo: Thearon W. Henderson (Getty Images)

Seriously, the memes really do just write themselves, don’t they?

Photo: Ezra Shaw (Getty Images)

In short, get your coins ready for Beyoncé’s next release, and your DNA the hell out of her personal space. As a wise woman once sang: “Who the fuck do you think I is? Don’t hurt yourself.

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About the author

Maiysha Kai

Maiysha Kai is Managing Editor of The Glow Up and your average Grammy-nominated goddess next door. Minneapolis born, Chicago bred, New York built. Nuance is her superpower.