Illustration for article titled This Not a Drill: Could This Be the Blackest Gift of the Season?
Photo: Crown Royal/Alba

If you instantly recognized the insignia above, not only has your so-called “black card” automatically been renewed for another decade, but we’ve found the perfect gift/fashion statement for you. Clearly not content with its ubiquitous purple bag being repurposed and passed down through generations in black households across America, Crown Royal has upped the ante on its branded merchandise this holiday season. Partnering with celebrity designer Alba—longtime stylist of Magic Johnson and also the designer of the black and gold tuxedo Lena Waithe wore while winning her first Emmy—the Canadian whisky brand is proud to present: “the Crown Royal Blazer.

Illustration for article titled This Not a Drill: Could This Be the Blackest Gift of the Season?
Photo: Crown Royal/Alba
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No, you’re not drunk—OK, maybe you are, but you still heard me right. And while it doesn’t come in the same shade as Crown Royal’s iconic royal purple drawstring pouch, as the brand explains, this is no off-the-rack suit jacket—after all, it is velvet:

The hand-stitched blazer is inspired by Crown Royal XR Extra Rare, the brand’s rarest whisky which is expected to run out very soon. The blazer features rich tones of gold and royal blue and embodies the sophisticated character of Crown Royal XR Extra Rare from the now-closed LaSalle Distillery. Much like the whisky it celebrates, the bespoke blazer is a carefully crafted collector’s item for the luxurious, modern individual.

Did you check out that slick shit above? Those are gold-plated, crown-embossed buttons—can you really put a price on that level of intoxicating luxury? No? Good, because like most bespoke clothing, this made-to-measure, unisex blazer doesn’t come cheap. The Crown Royal Blazer will run you a cool $1,924—approximately the cost of ten-and-a-half bottles of the XR Extra Rare that inspired it (or eleven-and-a-half if you find a bottle on sale, as we did). But on the bright side, reportedly only three blazers will ever be produced, meaning only two other people in the entire world will own it—and one of them might be Magic Johnson (hell, the other might be Lena Waithe)!

Can the true Crown Royal connoisseur really afford to miss this limited edition offering? Look at how good it looks when accessorized with the Crown itself (sorry, the bottle and cut-crystal tumbler aren’t included with purchase, but you can get your own Crown Royal-branded rocks glass for $14.99.)

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Illustration for article titled This Not a Drill: Could This Be the Blackest Gift of the Season?
Photo: Crown Royal/Alba

Wait. You didn’t look at the lining, did you? You gotta see the lining. Check out this glorious gold silk, shadow-printed with Crown Royal XR crowns, and tell me this isn’t the blackest and bourgiest thing you’ll see all day. You know you want it—just so your friends can attempt to touch it while exclaiming, “This is beautiful! What is that, velvet?” (Pro tip: Do NOT let them touch it before first washing their hands. On second thought, just don’t let them touch it.)

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Illustration for article titled This Not a Drill: Could This Be the Blackest Gift of the Season?
Photo: Crown Royal/Alba

Not in the market for XR-level Crown Royal swag this year? You can keep it regal yet comfortably affordable with their classic purple Crown Royal Luxury Bathrobe ($64.99). Because let’s be honest: you’re usually wearing a bathrobe when you’re sipping Crown, anyway.

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Maiysha Kai is Managing Editor of The Glow Up and your average Grammy-nominated goddess next door. Minneapolis born, Chicago bred, New York built. Nuance is her superpower.

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