Bria Myles
Screenshot: TheRealRastaJoe 718 (YouTube)

Real talk? The Glow Up doesn’t really make a habit of keeping up with the Instagram model brigade. This isn’t because they’re not beautiful or worthy of big thangs, but simply because there are too many of them for our meager staff (read: me) to keep track of, in addition to celebs, supermodels and beauty and fashion brands. Call it elitism, but for real: there are a lot of them... and seemingly another born every minute.

We also don’t make it a habit to follow inane debates on Twitter. But what we do try to keep y’all away from is that bullshit, and on Friday night, there was a veritable wave of it flooding the platform, as folks hotly and inexplicably launched an hours-long, deeply color-coded debate on the beauty of model, actress and purported past Drake paramour Bria Myles.

In case you’re as clueless as I was (since I’m neither trolling IG models nor up in Drake’s private life like that), I’ll save you the Google. This is Bria Myles (also pictured above).

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Honestly, I’m not sure what there was to debate about, since this woman is clearly objectively attractive AF. But that didn’t stop a significant swath of black Twitter from showing its entire ass over the course of a few hours, prompted by another, lighter-skinned model who apparently thought it a good idea to trash Myles’ looks, suggesting that she is ‘ugly’ and at one point comparing her to ‘a donkey.’ (Proving, yet again, that all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk.)

Ugly? Bish, where?

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We don’t even want to give the original offender the attention she seems to so desperately desire (and clearly thinks she deserves), but if y’all want to jump into that cesspool, feel free. (I suggest a hazmat suit, though. Hatred is toxic.) And for all we know, the two have personal beef. But if pretty is as pretty does, it wasn’t a good look—at all.

Of course, the issue instantly raised was whether it was Myles’ dark skin that prompted such irrational vitriol and scrutiny. That’s how gorgeous this woman actually is: like, colorism was legit the only evil that could be possibly be at work here.

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While the originator of the insult—let’s call her “Patient Zero”—attempted to clarify that the shade of Myles’ skin was not the source of her entirely unasked-for opinion, both her tweets (typical “mean girl” fare) and many others’ indicated otherwise. And this is where a dominant segment of Twitter did us proud, because they were not having it.

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And honestly, because the entire debate was absolutely ludicrous (like, brain-numbingly stupid), we were more encouraged by those who were ready to use this otherwise unfortunate moment in black history to call out the centuries-old elephant in the room.

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As we approach a new year, some of y’all are clearly in desperate need of an intervention and some evolution—because this is not a conversation we should still be having in the closing of the year of our Lord, 2018. (Frankly, y’all could’ve left that shit in 1818, since it’s really not doing anyone a damned bit of good.) Haven’t we already experienced enough anti-blackness this year—and oh, I don’t know, for the 400-500 years prior? This is the hill y’all trying to die on today?

Kids, it’s time to grow up and expand our definitions of beauty (because Naomi Campbell didn’t walk 10,000 runways for this mess)—and our conversations around women’s bodies, in general.

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So, to help you get your minds right for the new year, here a few basic guidelines to help you just basically be a better person. (Because some of y’all are really playing yourselves.)

  • Comparing women’s beauty (and/or bodies) is wack—even if you’re one of the women in question. Do better.
  • Quantifying beauty based on skin tone (or hair texture, nose width, etc.)? Super wack—and self-hating, to boot. (Because I don’t care how “light” you are; if you’re black, somebody in your bloodline was dark-skinned, so cut it out.) Do better.
  • Quantifying beauty based on “fuckability”? Also wack, because 9 times out of 10, it’s not even the remotest of possibilities for you, and is therefore irrelevant. Do better.

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There’s more, but those of you who need this the most likely can’t process more than three points at a time, so we don’t want to overwhelm you. But bottom line: Do better, and please stop putting that bullshit out into the world, and onto the internet. It only encourages the rest of the world to continue perpetuating anti-blackness against us. If home is where the hatred is, consider it “Patient Zero” behavior.

As for Myles, while we hate that she was offered up as a sacrificial lamb in this nonsensical moment, we hope she enjoyed the outpouring of admiration that rose in her defense. Regardless, we’re pretty sure she’s doing just fine.

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