Kanye West performs Sunday Service during the 2019 Coachella Valley Music And Arts Festival on April 21, 2019 in Indio, California.
Photo: Rich Fury (Getty Images for Coachella)

Jesus Yeezus, I guess we had to see this coming.

Word on the street (read: TMZ and W magazine) is that your favorite new megachurch-leading millionaire, Kanye West, has filed to trademark “Sunday Service”-branded apparel, including “clothing, dresses, footwear, headwear, jackets loungewear, scarves, shirts, socks and clothing tops,” says TMZ.

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If you’re wondering what such a line of apparel might look like, look no further than the Yeezy-heavy, plenty-of-room-for-the Holy Ghost wardrobes of West and his Sunday Service choir at this year’s Coachella. What you might consider your cleaning day clothes were purportedly a tease for a Yahweh-themed Yeezy collection, with performance merch on sale for the low, low tithes of $50-$225—and that mess was apparently in high demand, so West clearly knows his congregation.

Bless his heart...and his bank account.

Granted, I grew up with a very different set of criterion for “church clothes,” but would Jesus really walk for this? Is this truly what you want to be caught wearing on Judgment Day? I suppose you can just call me “Doubting Thomas,” but looking at the oversized, monochromatic, read-to-wade-in-the-water, dyed-with-Kool-Aid-church wine-ass scrubs pictured above, I remain dubious that fashion is ‘Ye’s ministry. Frankly, I don’t see why he doesn’t just call his prospective line of merch the “Kult Kollection,” because it makes me wish he would let my people go.

But what do I know? I’m just a former Catholic schoolgirl baptized in the waters of Lake Minnetonka (no, really)-turned-unrepentant heathen who writes about style for a living. *crosses self * Go with God, Kanye.